Friday, March 10, 2017

Five Minute Friday: ABANDON



 Today I'm linking up with Kate Motaung for Five Minute Friday.

This week's word is ABANDON.

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In our bathroom we have a wall hanging of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, the "There is a time for everything" passage.

Sometimes I stop and look at the list of time for's; on any given day there is usually one that catches my eye and gets me thinking.

Verse 6 says there is 

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away. 

Sometimes the right thing to do in a given circumstance may be to ABANDON something. But for me, it is hard to make the call as to whether I should keep searching or give up, keep or throw away. 

When it comes to people, that's an even harder call. I'm a Six on the Enneagram, and the Six is sometimes called the Loyalist or Loyal Skeptic. One website describes Sixes this way: 

"Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself [or himself], at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty. The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword, however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on." 

The reason Sixes hang on too long, of course, is that we're basically insecure. It's easier to stick with the flawed relationship or situation than abandon it and risk trying something new and scary.

Yet abandoning people is something that should never be done lightly or easily, either. I don't want to be thrown on someone's scrap heap just because I didn't measure up; why would I treat someone else that way?

I guess the only way I can be sure of whether to search or give up, keep or throw away, is to trust in the wisdom of the One who will never abandon me.


14 comments:

  1. I've been looking into the Enneagram a bit lately and I think I'm a six so this is interesting. I definitely can hold onto a relationship or a situation after it's time to let go. I like your conclusion that we need to trust in the wisdom of the one who will never abandon us.

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    1. It just occurred to me as I looked at that last paragraph that I should change "the One who will never abandon me" because it might sound like I mean an Enneagram One. :-D

      Thanks for coming by to comment, Lesley. I am always interested to meet others who have explored the Enneagram. And #FMF is a really nice community.

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  2. "I guess the only way I can be sure of whether to search or give up, keep or throw away, is to trust in the wisdom of the One who will never abandon me." Amen! He is the One who will guide us and always be with us. Blessings to you!

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    1. The same to you, Gayl. Thanks so much for coming by to read this and leave a comment. Have a great weekend.

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  3. I'm a Six as well, Jeannie...and I see the reluctance to give up on a faltering relationship not as insecurity, but as a point of honour. Far better to hold to one's word even when the reason for keeping it is gone.

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by, Andrew--and I think I agree in general. I am kind of proud to be a "Loyalist." I guess it is knowing when that "time to give up" has come. But there are so many reasons to hold on. And God's staying power is so much stronger and longer than ours. God bless.

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  4. I have never taken an Enneagram assessment or test although from the description, I wonder if I am a six.

    I like your point of seeking God's wisdom. Sometimes we do need to move on from a person or situation. I think there are definitely some people who we are going to be connected to for life and others who will impact us and we will bless on occasion. Have a great day Jeannie!

    FMF #70 this week if you'd like to drop by.

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    1. Thanks for your comment, Kelly. The Enneagram is really interesting, and I've found it helpful in my own life. And I agree that there are "life" relationships and "occasional" relationships, though I sometimes make the mistake of thinking one is the other...

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  5. it's very interesting that you would write about this. We're in the middle of keeping or throwing away several relationships right now. Not our desire or doing, but God has been taking people out of our life in recent months. (a NASTY church situation and parent issues on both sides of our marriage). The great thing is, even while he's moving people out, he's been bringing people into our lives, some we've really connected with-dare I say kindred spirit types and balm for our hurting souls.

    Glad you popped over to my place. It's nice to see new faces in the FMF community!

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    1. So glad to connect with you, Christy. I appreciate what you've said about God bringing new people into our lives even as others are "moving out"; I have experienced something similar at times. I think it is really important to stay open. Sometimes loss of relationships can cause us to turn inward and be self-protective, and that has its place temporarily maybe, but open-handed living allows us to be surprised by God's grace. Thanks so much for being here today.

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  6. Sorry I'm so late to comment, Jeannie. Life is always exciting with our boys. :) You r words about when to keep and when to give up on things--and relationships--makes sense. I've had to give up a few friendships over the years, and it's always been painful. But, if I've prayed, and God's shown me things I need to see, it makes it a little easier. I feel like I've left a piece of myself in those hard places, though. Thankfully, God is our healer and He leads us, even in the giving up, when we seek Him.

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    1. I know what you mean, Jeanne, about a bit of ourselves staying behind after we give up on relationships. That rings true for me.

      Thanks for coming by, and don't apologize for being "late" to comment. It's nice to hear from you any time!

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  7. Jeannie, I appreciate how you used the word "abandon" within the context of healthy relationships. Abandoning relationships causes tension in our Christ like desire to offer grace to others. You are right that who wants to feel like they are thrown on a scrap heap? Yet, sometimes it is necessary for a few reasons. Following the Spirit's leading offers freedom to both parties. It allows the Spirit to bring others in our midst who will contribute to our lives (and us, them) in ways that will shape us more into God's character.

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment, Stephanie. I think it's helpful how you put it in the context of freedom. Sometimes a relationship might be holding us (or the other person) back and we don't even realize it; letting go is necessary so God can work.

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